‘Autobiography’

Azar has written a lengthy autobiography that covers the period from his childhood until the age of 40 when he met Satlova and the process of Man and Woman much deepened. Yet the whole period before that is certainly very interesting to read as well. Without it the process of Man and Woman in Depth how it developed later could not happen. We have divided the autobiography in segments. Next to that smaller pieces have been selected which are considered especially interesting. In the course of time more and more pieces will be published just until the whole book will be available.








Prepublished sections and chapters from “Autobiography”:

Sections

Selected chapters

First Section

Fainting during sex education

Second Section

Third Section

The Legs of the Universe Pandora – the Natural refusal to having sex: the Body is not a form Approaching the girl – meeting Maja; Maja’s resistance – the first actual Touch of Woman’s Duality

Fourth Section

Fifth Section

Traineeship at the Ministry of Development Aid – the natural power of long hair The factors leading to the fall The deeper meaning and background of the breakdown The ordeal of life and death

Sixth Section

Maja and I meet again: heaven is nothing without the earth The Separating Force becomes active through Maja The Rejection and the Initiation into the Flesh The Test. Crying: Living Woman in me

Seventh Section

The farewell to Maja, the beginning of Damiantha? Woman’s Dual Attraction to Man The school of acting difficultly Talking to and about Maja Man’s Liberation and more (from: The Battle between Consciousness and Body rages on) The first time of consciously taking over Woman’s Pain

Eight section

Manon – Sacrificing Purity: the Heart and the Body Needed to Split

Tenth Section

Busy with Maja – still Feeling separation, as intimate as possible, was the way

Eleventh Section

A cosy evening with Konora – a deeper, creepy touch of the Dark

Thirteenth Section

Getting closer to Suzanne – under the cover of exercising Desperate for Love – Suzanne where are you

Fourteenth Section

The progress of getting lost into the earth

Fifteenth Section

I want to disappear in you Bayantha

Sixteenth Section

Discovering Man A nice picnic with Bayantha & Woman wants to physically fight with me Learning to go to Woman Who is Open to me and kissing her in front of the closed Bayantha The Big Disillusion – The last time ever in love

Seventeenth Section

Angry letter to Bayantha Meeting Maja again, miraculously Letter to Maja – Giving things back finally Bayantha and the burden of feeling attracted to me

Eighteenth Section

The simple yet marvellous share practice: Contact The Mermaid and the slowly moving arm The Transformation by the Whisper of the Divine Woman Freely shared sexuality The terrible luxury of choosing between two gorgeous divine women Radiating the Mirror of Man and Woman – Goodbye nonetheless? The start of a relationship The fog of Martuska wanting me

Nineteenth Section

Being with this woman-of-the-world meant I made it to go Down – Proud? Seeing the pig who raped my girl – an attempt to relieve her through imitation “Then you don’t breathe” Beating the hand on the table Running naked and being Tiara’s project to ‘form’ me into ‘the perfect man’ Rancy – Furious about Tiara’s intimacy with yet another man, who seemed to be my ‘best friend’ for a change Doing ‘nice things’ together – the gypsy caravan

Twentieth Section

Condoms on Tiara’s shopping list – for another man – didn’t fit the composition

Twenty first Section

Second tantra week: Nina, showing the reality of Woman in relation to Man The Jellyfish. How dirty does it get? Tested by the Sexual Force Bloody heavy days with Tiara – breaking free from the prison

Twenty second Section

The humiliating Bowing for Woman’s Ego, on My Way to Embody Man – Goodbye to Nina

Twenty third Section

Being with me is “better than nothing”. Tiara (and in general people) lying to me (and more)  Attending the sexuality workshop together, and Tiara wants to be free there to see what happens The bath-tube. The celebration of Showing Woman, via my crushed body, the state of Her Own Heart

Twenty fourth Section

Woman criticizing Man  Okay, then I fuck the Ego when the Heart doesn’t Open  Cutting hair

Twenty fifth Section

Time to Meditate  The crucial moment: ‘Do you want to be with me, as I am?’  First closer touch by masters’ Heart The end of the relationship The actual end

Twenty sixth Section

Sharon Receiving the name Azar Baksh and Understanding What I Am and Do NEW A touch of Christianity, Buddhism, Zen – and Imelda, the lesbian, desiring me  Aggression and Meditation The Syrup; De-problematization

Twenty seventh Section

Meeting Sri Sri – Important questions to ask  The horseshoe nail  Sheila – Addressing the Whore in Woman in public NEW Becoming the Masters

Twenty eight Section

Paying someone a visit with Sri Sri inside me – being big – finding Innocence again NEWER “It must go out!” NEWER The Fall Jesus

Twenty ninth Section

Allowing physical-energetic movements/animals Where is this Going? No one can follow me any more The last ejaculation?

Thirtieth Section

Notes of the retreat in which Realization of No-self happened, part 1 Notes of the retreat in which Realization of No-self happened, part 2 Notes of the retreat in which Realization of No-self happened, part 3 The Heart explodes in love-bliss in the presence of Sayadaw U Kundala Mary The Forest Event The party is where the pain is NEWEST

Thirty first Section

Focused on Sri Sri – getting closer to Sri Sri NEWEST

From yet unpublished Sections

The Process of Consciousness and Unconsciousness becoming One The Union with the Divine Woman